Well here he is, the new boy, Christos Tzolis. A Greek pocket god sent from the heavens to salve the Arsenal fan base with maximal outputs!
Look, you can scoff at this signing because his name isn’t Bradley Barcola, or you can look at the scouting job here… and marvel that we’re solving output problems with a guy who has racked up 30+ G&A for three seasons on the bounce.
He has high levels of quality in and around the box; his shooting is exceptional, and the touch is very, very good and stands up to Champions League levels of rigor.
The only thing that worries me is the top speed. This guy is more of a Volvo SUV on the autobahn than a Ferrari… his top speed in the Jupiler League last season via Gradient was 32.89 km/h. For context:
Martinelli 35.02
Saka 32.9
Trossard 32.89
Noni 33.49
Gyokeres 33.80
No slouch, but certainly not ripping up trees on breakaways THAT WE ALMOST NEVER GET.
This is a tight-spaces kind of guy. This is the player who foxes in boxes. Tzolis can fashion a pass or a shot under pressure, and deliver. I’ve watched the videos… I can confirm, he looks up before he passes.
Honestly, have I gone to heaven and woken up watching a GREEK SHORT KING freescoring while the papers write about him being bargain buy of the summer?
Too far.
The prince has proved nothing yet.
Another thing to note is that we signed a player who hasn’t been at the World Cup, after we sold Leo Trossard. Does that speak to the club selling before we buy? Maybe. Might not be the same in every role, but this move does add gravity to the idea that Arsenal aren’t going to keep adding bodies to the squad. We need to make moves to fund moves.
One that I’m keeping an eye on? Martinelli. He was linked to Atlético Madrid. This feels like a perfect destination for him and I could fully imagine Arsenal bringing Álvarez the other way in such a situation.
I’m also slightly concerned that if we land Bruno, the sting in the tail could be that we see Ethan go in the other direction in a loan-to-perm deal much like the Garnacho one with Villa. But that really is my conspiracy smooth brain working overdrive to keep the post maximally interesting to you.
Mr Berta, when he’s not gassing to the magnificent Hand of Arsenal, speaks to the website occasionally about new players.
“Christos is an extremely versatile attacking player who naturally operates on the left but is comfortable across the front line. He’s an excellent finisher with both feet, thrives in tight spaces, and possesses incredible technical ability.
“Christos has produced outstanding numbers in terms of goals and assists over the last three seasons, and he’s a player who will raise the technical level of our squad, while bringing positive energy, enthusiasm, and a strong mentality to our team.
“We’re confident Christos will make a significant contribution to our club, and we hope our supporters will enjoy watching him play in an Arsenal shirt.”
Notable that the messaging of the video was very much OUTPUT OUTPUT OUTPUT. It’s clear what the move was here and I very much like it. A few people (no one) have been asking me how he compares to Trossard… probably because I speak data like a Sporting Director.
Note that these are Premier League numbers vs Champions League numbers… but exciting nonetheless. If Tzolis can adapt to England (noting that he flopped last time), we could have a player with a very high ceiling.
Also, he likes to defend. Which is very good for Mikel. This is what the player said about himself in great English.
“I'm a direct player, I go for goals or assists,”
“That's my point of view as an attacker, as a winger. I'm always hungry to score or to give the final pass to my teammates. And I can say I work hard for the team, also in the defensive part.”
Key data for me is below.
We’re getting a lot of very positive signals for a sub £40m fee. This is the sort of move Man City or Liverpool would drop in the past and it’d turn out great. I have to say, I’m still burned by Fabio ‘better output that Messi’ Vieira… but that’s just a me problem
Overall, my hope is this is the first of a few big signings… and Bruno is next.
We shall see. I dropped a tasty little Therapy Session for you as well. Get it into your veins.





🥉
🥈