Come on… World Cup Opening Day! I’m all-in now. No more naysaying from me, friends. England are amazing. The rest of the world? Also amazing. Love you guys.
Forget all the drama you see online, you won’t stop people having fun in America. It’s a great country once you stop looking at the catastrophe platforms. The mood is starting to shift, I think American’s like it when Europeans compliment their hamburgers and treetop rope swings. We’re about to have a GOOD time. Also, shout out to the Scottish fan tasting guac for the first time in Chicago.
I don’t care what anyone says, there’s nothing better than watching football played in monstrous American stadiums designed for other sports against the backdrop of the colorful fans doing World Cup things. It’ll be a spectacular event and maybe some of the content flowing out from Euro fans is a reminder to those that live here that it’s a great place with great people.
Am I being a little bit too pro-America here? Does this read like I don’t want to get deported? Maybe. But let me tell you, I do like it here, especially so in the non-mega parts of the country like the Midwest and the South. Kai Havertz is a 4-hour drive from me right now. I want to drive up and stalk him on one of his activation walks, but I know that’d be weird and might get me arrested so I won’t do that… today.
Let’s chat about the World Cup, where do we see it going this year? The predictions markets seem to favour mostly European teams. This is mostly US-based, not sure Portugal would sit high up in a European list.
Gotta say, I’m a little surprised to see the European teams so high up the lists, given the state of some of the pitches over here, and the outrageous heat and humidity.
My view on the World Cup is Spain are the most cohesive team in the tournament. They all play like they’ve been baked in the same football DNA oven. High levels of technical prowess, they move the ball fast, they are used to the heat, and they have a lot of big game players dotted throughout the squad. They also have the best keeper in the world, that goes a long way. Unai Simón usually gets the gloves, but he did only get a half against Peru the other night, before the KING came on. They are my favourites.
My underdog predictions might be England. We’re always kind of laughed about, but you can’t knock the players, the talent, the winnertivity, or the coach we have. No one will want to play us. My main concern is that as an Englishman, I overvalue the players, and their ability to live up to the talent we see them drop at club level. The weather is especially obnoxious for English folk… we play most of our Premier League season in reasonable weather, there’s no humidity in England, and when the summer comes… it’s like a natural disaster for most of the country. How are we going to hold up in heat that actually is a natural disaster for most of the country in the summer months?
Players that could do some bad bitch things?
Viktor Gyokeres is my hope out here. The Swede is a flat-track bully and he did have a pretty good record with Sweden before the non-playoff campaign. Then he came alive with some big goals. Sweden actually has quite a nasty group of well-organised teams, but if they can feed the beast, the beast will feast. A good World Cup might also land him some interest this summer. If Arteta really is going to be ruthless about players this summer, exiting someone whose numbers don’t really reflect the true impact of play might be a brutal place to start.
Teams that could do bad bitch things?
If I were in a Crouch End café talking to someone from the Football Clichés podcast about a World Cup I have no interest in, I’d try and impress them by saying something like:
‘I’m actually quite focused on teams with strong tactical identities geared around modern pressing principles that most international teams don’t have time to coach.’
I’d then follow that up with the real zinger.
‘The subplot to these systems is load management in extreme thermal conditions, high humidity amplifying perceived exertion and slowing recovery, while non-FIFA-standard pitches with excessive give increase ground reaction forces and soft tissue stress with every stride. Don’t even get me started on physiological stressors related to altitude.’
People at the back table munching pistachio croissants applauding the nuanced approach to my viewing tastes. Doesn’t get better than that, does it?
Teams that fit into these categories are Japan, Austria (Rangnick), and Uruguay (Bielsa). There’s always a team in the World Cup that doesn’t boast individuals, but just has a really good plan, and a great camp that sends them stratospheric.
Star power usually wins out, though, doesn’t it? France are going to be quite hard to beat. But we’ll see… too many stars can often be as bad as too few.
The thing I’m both hoping for and dreading is a good USMNT performance. Their team has not exactly bonded with America and their preparation over the last year has been quite poor. But… I did a podcast with a USMNT player who played in the World Cup in 1994. They didn’t have a pro league back then. The players spent 18 months in a camp in the build-up to the tournament to get good… then they put on a monster show in 1994, captured the hearts of a nation, and narrowly lost to Brazil.
That’s what we need over here. The players can become heroes. If they do, this place will be rocking for the next 6 weeks. So basically, I need a disaster class from Paraguay tomorrow, and I need to see players like Pulisic step up on the biggest stage.
Final note, no injuries please. If Saka ain’t right, don’t start him. I need fresh talent returning to England for a glorious pre-season.
Ok, that’s me done, have a great World Cup! See you in the comments. x
P.S. We have a predictions revisit podcast tomorrow. Going out early to the members. Apparently, I done f*cked up again. Get your members’ episode right now.