WEDNESDAY ROUND-UP

KITS, RIVALS, RUMORS, AND MORE

Listen, my friends. Sometimes the news is limited, and I can’t hit the big word count.

Today might be one of those days.

As a heads-up, I made a terrible mistake yesterday. I ate a ‘mother-clucking hot’ chicken sandwich the night before a five-and-a-half-hour road trip home, and let me tell you, it was as bad as you’d imagine. I spent more hours in petrol stations than I wanted to… but it wasn’t without surprises. I stopped at one gas-hole in Kentucky that shared space with a cutesy pig-themed boutique where I dropped $70. Got myself some Kentucky raw honey, a wooden fire truck, and a tiny silver box for the tooth fairy. Anyway, I had a good trip home; I love the Midwest.

So, what do we have today?

Aaron Ramsdale has attracted a rejected offer from Ajax. They offered Arsenal a loan deal for next season, but according to Sir David Ornstein, the club has passed, preferring to wait for a full offer so they can exit him for good. Aaron is a good keeper; he would improve 60% of Premier League clubs, and there will be interest as the summer grinds on. The only worry is his salary. That might mean a reduction in the transfer fee so he’s not leaving with a loss of future earnings.

Arsenal has sold Brooke Norton-Cuffy to Genoa for £3.5m. That’s a pretty good chunk of change for a player who never got close to our first team after some decent loans. I’ll say it over and over again… I love it when English players move to foreign countries. It’s a brave idea. It stretches their minds and their footballing education. I’m a big fan of this move for the player, but also for the reputation of our academy for producing Euro-ready players. Good luck, Brooke.

Eddie is attracting interest from Bournemouth as a replacement for Solanke, who moved to Spurs. No doubt the interest is there, but I worry his style of play isn’t suited to a team that focuses on hitting other teams on the break by targeting an absolute monster of a human. They need a press monster and someone outrageously dominant. I feel like Eddie would be more suited to Brighton, Palace, or Ipswich. But we’ll see. The point here is this: He’ll have interest, and he won’t be here by September.

Arsenal launched their third kit.

What are we saying here? Apparently, Arteta likes the black kits for how they intimidate. This kit might get one contractually obligated run-out if that’s the case, similar to the green shirt from last season or the pink one from the year prior. I like the return of the Adidas trefoil. The design is simple and clean, and I love the Paddy Vieira cameo in the promo spot. The big question is this: Should I change the site’s colors to reflect the new kit? Let me know in the comments.

Final section - just some thoughts on our rivals:

UNITED: De Ligt moves to United. Not sure he’s the player people think he is. Bayern selling a prime-age center-back who was benched by Eric Dier doesn’t exactly support the ‘United will win the league’ narrative after their Community Shield loss.

CHELSEA: Conor G called back to training, Chalobah being brutalized, Félix back on the agenda, and Cole Palmer getting a two-year extension, taking his deal to nine years. What. A. Mess.

LIVERPOOL: Zubi rejected them to stay in Spain. TAA, VVD, and Salah are all sitting with one year left on their deals. Rumor has it Dias wants out. Slot has Liverpool playing out from the back nicely, but how will he deal with the friction that’ll come with his three best players being in contract limbo?

MAN CITY: They just sold Álvarez for £90m to Atlético—a guy who everyone thinks is leaving for more minutes despite getting 3,481 of them last year across 54 appearances (that’d be the 9th most minutes at Arsenal). Richard Masters also came out today and said the Premier League will resolve the City charges this season.

“It’s been going on for a number of years, and I think it’s self-evident that the case needs to be heard and answered.”

“It is time now for the case to resolve itself.”

He also said this:

“We want to move to a new system that people have confidence in, can comply with, and move away from normalizing asterisks against league tables or long-running regulatory cases.”

So, to be clear:

• Pep rumored to be out at the end of the season

• KDB twerking for Saudi, with one year left on his deal

• Richard Masters saying they’ll sort out the charges this season. Hearing September, verdict early next year, punishment before the season ends

• City has signed one player

Final piece of analysis: Wojciech Szczęsny has had his deal with Juventus terminated. Arsenal fans are hope-linking him. I don’t want to hear any of it. He was part of a nostalgia era I absolutely detested and his behavior wasn’t great during it. This isn’t a Santi move - this is like re-signing Ozil or Auba. This move is not for me. Give me the Espanyol back-up keeper I know nothing about over a keeper who was rolling up cigarettes in the changing room.

Ok, that’s me done. xx

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