SPURS STILL ALIVE - WILL THEY TAKE THE PRIZE?

BIG ANGE AND HIS BOYS COULD LAND 25% UCL PAY INCREASE

Liverpool vs Aston Villa wasn’t perfect, but the result gives Spurs a glimmer of hope in their severely flailing run at top 4 this season.

Beat Manchester City, at home, in front of 40,000 fans pathetic enough to want to lose… and they take the top 4 race down to the last game of the season. Would you trust Emery to beat Crystal Palace away from home? I wouldn’t.

So, what do we have going for us?

1. Big Ange called Spurs fans small-minded cucks for inviting a rival round to their house to roll their team while they watched from a metaphorical washing bin. The Aussie manager might be blustering, but the reality is this: If he wants to correct the Spursy culture of the past 60 years, his squad has to believe in what’s good for them, regardless of what their rivals are doing.

2. Manchester City finance expert @Slbsn, friend of the pod, reckons Spurs players could expect between 20-25% extra pay if they make the Champions League next year. I’m not 100% sure, but I’d imagine that’s the same for the coaching staff as well. That’s a big deal in a 10-year career.

3. In my other life, I talk to players and coaches who have tasted the Champions League. If you’re unsure how pros feel, let me assure you… nothing makes players more proud than hearing the Champions League music before they walk out onto the pitch. The Champions League is the crowning glory for most players. It’s what defines them. The best in the world all want to play against the best. Nothing compares. Especially not Spursday night football.

4. Daniel Levy only cares about two things. Finishing above Arsenal and making the Champions League. He has an office at the training ground. I’ve been told he is a very persuasive guy - do not be surprised to learn that he spent a bit of time with Ange and the players to make sure they are focused on doing what is right for the club. He will not care if their financial success gifts Arsenal a Premier League because we’re not as important as a massive infusion of cash next season.

What is not going for us?

1. Spurs fans have been pretty vocal about wanting to stab themselves in the eyes rather than witness us win a Premier League title. I’d understand that sentiment if we’d never won it before. But we’ve won it three times, gone invincible, and owned North London for the majority of the last 100 years. 

2. Spurs players don’t need much of an excuse to switch off. Extremely online players like Richarlison will have had fans in their DMs all week telling them to throw the game. They’ll have had fans telling them at the chip shop to throw the game. They’ll have Spurs fans camping outside their houses telling them to throw the game. Banter years athletes don’t need an excuse to switch off - even if it’s not in their interests

3. They play really open football that’ll be really easy for Pep G to unpick. If Conte was in charge, I’d have more hope that he could spring a deep block you could put in the Museum of Shit Housery. Ange isn’t technical enough for that. It’ll be a deathly highline with a smattering of extremely kamikaze football. Pep loves that sort of game.

Spurs can kill any team on their day, just like United can. I don’t think there’s a strong case that their players are going to self-sabotage, but I think there’s enough about their form to suggest they could get spanked because they’ve been sussed and their manager doesn’t have another idea.

Still, PSG were downed by Dortmund and it shouldn’t have happened. City has had no bad luck this season. Nothing has gone against them. Maybe the football gods are waiting to hurt them when they least expect it?

Well, we find out later - one thing we can be assured of is the City team probably had a rough night. Arsenal fans were planning to set fireworks off near their hotel last night. This is grossly unfair and immature and I’m totally here for it.

Arteta was asked whether he thought breaking our win record for a single season was progress.

‘It’s not progress, it’s history.’

Some answer. What a silly question though. Quite staggering that Arsenal can move the needle so hard in a single season and still potentially end it trophyless.

My big question, which we haven’t asked in a long time is this:

Is being an Artetasexual a bad thing in 2024? I’m not so sure. Imagine being a DisasterTuber in 2024! Someone help them out with a GoFundMe account. Rage ain’t paying the bills in this era.

Vivianne Miedema looks set to leave Arsenal for Manchester City when her contract expires. She has been a powerhouse contributor to Arsenal, offering up 125 goals and 51 assists in just 172 appearances.

I know this will sting people, but it’s hard to feel the same rage you feel when men head there. Her salary at Arsenal was reportedly around £380,000 a year. Nice cash, but no one is retiring on that salary. If City can give her a big signing on fee and a bigger salary, that puts her in a better position when it comes time to hang up the boots. I suspect that, like real life, Arsenal couldn’t compete. She’s certainly not moving there for the record breaking crowds.

Talking of Manchester City, Daddy David Moyes had this to say about beating them.

"It would be difficult stopping their Under 14's winning the title, I think!"

"I've said to the players we'll do everything to be professional - that's the word I would use.

"We'll try and do the best we can."

What a joker. London clubs hate Arsenal. Premier League fixture guys love Manchester City. I still can’t get over putting this Spurs game so late in the season - especially when you consider Spurs had a 15-day break in APRIL.

West Ham are going to get absolutely thumped. Fulham were hot garbage. It’s been really sad to watch teams put in abject performances against City. Everyone hates us. Stupid league.

Gahhh, I said I’d be positive. So let’s end the day on this thought: Mikel Arteta has turned Spurs most successful season in a long time into an emotional headache that has their fans begging their team to lose and stay in the Spursday Night Europa League rather than move into the Champions League. Embarrassing. But funny. Imagine hating potential success?

Ok, that’s me done, see you on the other side. I’ll be in England shortly. xxx