I’m back in the UK this morning, I treated myself to an M&S sandwich, and a packet of their finest Colin Caterpillars, and some of the rawest GB News you could imagine. I am ready.
Some of chatter doing the rounds has been quite interesting. By far the craziest was seeing that Southampton have been caught spying on Middlesbrough, and this revelation has opened the door to their possible expulsion from the playoff finals.
This story is quite baffling on many levels, not least because they sent an intern to the training ground, with an iPhone, and he was caught because he hid behind a tree. Quite mad to imagine a group of Southampton staff sat around and landed on that plan. It’s 2026, I doubt there are many professional clubs in the land that don’t have access to training ground drones… why would anyone have a kid physically be in a situation to be caught like that? Drones are hard to spot, they have good cameras, and if they’re found, you can’t identify the owner unless you left a club crest on them. You also get better intel.
Honestly, this has me so inspired, I might start up a private firm that specializes in stealing training ground IP for top-tier clubs. DARK ARTS LLC will be the name, and we’ll be working with the Ukrainian defence contractors to perfect the art of stealth thievery of secrets.
Get the word out… we’ll never get caught.
Also, bigger picture here, what a thing to do in 2026. Their young coach will be forever tarnished with this, and if they are found guilty, and lose out on Premier League status, this could be one of the costliest acts of cheating in football history.
Sucks to NOT use DARK ARTS LLC. We’ve literally never been caught.
I was sent this graphic via a top-secret contact on LinkedIn. This shows why PSG are going to be so tough at the end of the month in extremely clear financial numbers. PSG are so outrageously dominant in the league, you have to combine the wage bills of 6 clubs behind them in the league right now to surpass their seasonal figure.
What does this mean? That Dembélé can play 21 games, totalling 1,000 minutes in the league, and it’s not a problem for PSG. The league is training for the Champions League. No team in the European Cup is afforded the luxury of not needing to play their best 8 players on the regular… so we’re playing extremely expensive players, on some of the highest wages on the planet, and they’ve all been gifted sub-2,000 minute seasons in the league. It’s outrageous. Especially when so many people praise their energy. Never forget, PSG had a top-of-the-league clash with Lens (€60m a season wage bill) moved so they could be fresher for Liverpool. And the league said yes. Disgusting.
Mikel Arteta confirmed fears I posted yesterday with regards to Timber. It’s going to be very tough to get him back in contention for that Champions League final, regardless of desire. I doubt we’re going to find out how this week has gone anytime soon because of the tactical uncertainty him being in contention offers… but one would imagine that the solve for his absence will be on show against Burnley and Palace, especially if it’s going to be something curveball like Piero Hincapie.
Arsenal launched their new kit. They’re giving away 40,000 NFC cards with personalised notes to fans. This kit marks 20 years in The Emirates Stadium and it’s about connections.
Must be tough having to reimagine the shirt every single season — and hard to move on from the absolute banger we’ve had this year. But this is really nice, I can’t think of a single miss from Adidas, they are still by far the best partner the club has brought on since the rebirth of a more serious offering.
The media continued its assault on Arsenal and anything associated with it. Yesterday, The Telegraph went after… Arsenal Vision. A group of extremely lovely people had their dirty laundry aired in public because, I guess, it drives clicks. This is off the back of AFTV getting the hatchet job a few weeks before. Our Ultras are getting a walloping. The club also getting pelters for not paying for flights for all their staff for the Champions League final.
What is going on here?! I think you know. This is a well-funded campaign emanating from dark money funneled from around the world by deep-pocketed Arsenal haters. The truth will be OUTED. Must say, I do feel like those sorts of stories tend to backfire. The idea, I guess, is to horrify people that fan media makes a lot of money… the miss on these stories is that people who pay £5 a month to listen to the content, tend to have a very favorable view of the people, and the hit piece turns into a really negative moment about a serious journalist. Good on Arsenal Vision for making so much cash and let’s not forget that they give extreme amounts of money to international charities as well.
I’m also back in the land of the Gyok straps. Why does every Arsenal fan I meet want to ask me about Viktor?
‘he’s the most popular fantasy player this week’
Grow up. Fantasy football. What are you lot like? Johnny from the pod the biggest offender here.
I’m Gyok curious. I won’t give you any more than that. He’s good at beating up smaller teams and teams in Europe. Let’s see what he can do in these last three games, then we’ll talk about a fling to love.
Final story, Matheus Fernandes has been linked with a move to Arsenal. Love it. This from The Athletic yesterday.
It highlighted why the Portugal international is a sought-after talent. Nine months after his arrival, West Ham are already planning for life without him. Sources with knowledge of the situation, who spoke on the condition of anonymity to protect relationships, say the club have conceded Fernandes will be sold to help fund their summer recruitment, irrespective of which league they will be in next season.
Paris Saint-Germain, the Ligue 1 champions and upcoming Champions League finalists, are among Fernandes’ suitors.
The player knew about the interest and it fried his brain when he bounced in one vs one on David Raya. The power of our interest is Arteta’s very own dark arts, that we’re deploying in a spray at DARK ARTS LLC. The former Southampton player is 21 years old and the idea is he’d bring some competition to our midfield and maybe a bit more attacking threat in the back-up areas. I have no real opinion on this, but when the season ends, I’ll be turning this site into a scouting network powered by my professional data tools. You know the one. Don’t make me say it.
Ok, that takes me to the end. Podcasting will be patchy this weekend, but hoping to get one out today and one out on Sunday. x
My thoughts exactly, Isaac. We have 2 very winnable games. Keep our heads, and we're champions. Go for it without any brain fart moments.
After last season's PGMOL shenanigans, it's clearly no accident that we're about to go through an entire season without a single red card in all competitions.
Let's get this done. Finally.
M&S sandwich? You've changed, mate.