LONDON BESTIES MESS THE BED

PREMIER LEAGUE PROBABLY OVER (SORRY)

The move is complete, so is the blog colour transition. Can’t call myself a brand guy and have a split in my branded house. For the rest of the season, it’s fluorescent yellow and black. The big question for my advertising/brand/marketing readers is this: Is the Le Grove/AOP brand always a reflection of the third kit colours—or do I just stick with the latest offering because it works in a sea of red & white? Slide into my DMs with your opinions.

Ok, so where were we? Oh yeah, I spent yesterday hoofing hopium by suggesting our London best friends might have it in them to do City in the last few games of the season.

What happened?

Chelsea pumped a shocking West Ham 5-0. David Moyes said the reason his team is so bland on the road this season is the lack of Declan Rice.

Spurs got smacked up by Liverpool 4-2. They registered 0.04 xG in the first half. They are so useless that they can’t even motivate themselves to push a manager known for snatching defeat from the jaws of victory to the finish line (Villa lost to Brighton). They are an embarrassment. Big Ange, who has repeatedly said that you should never complain and that his team could compete for the Premier League, is now letting off blue and white flares over north London begging Daniel Levy for change. It’s all a bit pathetic.

My spicy hot take when they were doing well is that his system doesn’t get much better with better players. He’s a naive manager who has gotten away with it all season. Anyone who arrogantly brushes off the idea of a setpiece coach after leaking goals all season to setpieces probably isn’t going to last long. This is the beginning of the end. He’ll be gone by February.

You gotta love their fans. Singing ‘We’ve got our Spurs back’ after six games as their players drop victory dances in front of the home crowd. Listening to them brag about Maddison being better than Kai. Dropping ‘my manager’ tweets every time Ange says something mildly interesting in a press conference. They thought they were back. That they could bypass the hard work and surpass Arsenal in one season.

hahahah.

Every club has a banter phase. Some have a banter era. But only one club is defined by 60 years of the purest grade A banter you could imagine. That’s Spurs. It’s a curse. It can’t be undone. It is a case study in averageness and false dawns. It is delightful.

Back to Arsenal.

It’s not looking good, bruv.

Fulham has a reputation for turning off the lights once they’ve achieved promotion. Their players will be more focused on what SPF to pack than how to deal with Rodri and Bernardo Silva. Write that game off.

Spurs is a joke club in crisis. Ange only had two goals this season:

1. Finish above Arsenal

2. Finish in the Champions League positions

He failed both of them. Newcastle and Chelsea could pip them to Europa League (not good). Now he’s under pressure. They are leaking stories that the whole squad is going to get sold. That is not going to translate into total victory against City.

West Ham was our last hope. Daddy Moyes securing his son’s legacy before getting guillotined by West Ham at the end of the season for a younger model. That hope is now fading. His team played so badly. Those players are done with him. It’s over.

So basically, there’s no hope. All we can do is pray we take it to the end of the season and keep up the pretence of a tight finish alive.

What I can do is offer up this to the Footballing Gods: If West Ham win us the league by getting a result. I will get a tattoo of the West Ham hammers, with MOYESY underneath it. I don’t have tatts. This would pain me. But I’d do it for Arsenal. I have 4 friends that are doing it with me. Will you sign on?

There are some nerves in the system about United. I don’t have them. Why?

They’ll come to play football because that’s all they have. The game will be wide open, there will be spaces to exploit, and we will exploit them.

Ten Haag isn’t liked at United. The players don’t play for him. He’s going to leave this summer. The ‘actually, INEOS think he was wronged by the last management team, they might keep him’ is just put out into the media to keep the players focused on winning a trophy this season.

A lot of players will be on the market this summer. An FA Cup final against City is a great way to shop window yourself. Players will not want to injure themselves in a dead game against Arsenal. They’ll want to make sure they’re fresh for the trophy picture.

United are a very poor team. Outside an early couple of goals, I’m struggling to see them putting in a strong enough shift to take us in this game.

Ok, that’s me done for today. x