DECLAN: ENGLAND HERO, ARSENAL CASUALTY
TUCHEL CAN'T BELIEVE HE'S PLAYING THROUGH SO MUCH PAIN. NOR CAN ARSENAL FANS.
I’m kind of in that delirium between Christmas and New Year’s Eve. The World Cup has me all out of kilter with timings. Why are teams playing pre-season friendlies? What is an Arsenal. Am I ok?
Maybe not…
I could swear I just watched Mikel Merino score ANOTHER winner in Spain's quarter-final against Belgium. His second winner in a week. The first player EVER to score two winners in a World Cup knockout. Gotta say, I found that stat a bit odd. Really? No one else in 100 odd years has done that?
Incredible really. The most amazing thing about Mikel Merino is the whole ‘yeah, I’ll be a striker’ thing is all a bit of a laugh for him. He just raised his hand one day to do the job and he’s f*cking amazing at it. He only scored 20 goals in 15,329 minutes when he was in La Liga. Now he’s a machine. 12 goals in 49 for Spain. What a king. I’m so happy for him. Hopefully this fitness he’s getting with Spain will carry through to a good Premier League season for him.
Jeremy Monga signed for Man City, they dropped a signing photo of him. Rumor has it that he landed a £ 70k-a-week contract. Crazy money. They really wanted him. We had a budget. If he works out for City, good for them. Arsenal live in the real world, unfortunate as that may be.
There’s only one hot rumour at the moment and it’s Christos Tzolis to Arsenal for £35m.
This is what we want to see at Arsenal, every damn week. He’s a Champions League player, Belgium exports top talent, he is very fast… can he do it over here? Maybe. If he’s a back-up to a Barcola-like figure, then it’s a risk worth taking, especially given the money that needs to be spent elsewhere. The strategy is clear… who has the most output that won’t cost £100m+? Tzolis. Get him.
It is increasingly looking like the only serious new players we’ll have for the start of pre-season is… ‘like a new player’ with all the injured guys coming back ready to roll. Not sure I’m into that, I prefer teams to do business early, but the market isn’t allowing that right now so I guess we’ll just wait.
England have a MONSTER game against Norway. It’s the individual talent of Haaland and Odegaard vs a monstrous England team. It’s going to be a feast of a game. England has quite a bland defence this World Cup, but, so does Norway. Can the spirit of a tiny nation carry them to the dizzying heights of a semi… or will the long arm of reality drag them onto a plane back home?
No player has had more brand growth than Haaland. Everyone has fallen in love with him, including me. He’s taking the baton from Messi and Ronaldo along with Mbappé. But… Haaland is more fun as a player. He seems a very simple person who works hard, loves his friends and family, and wants to enjoy every day, recognizing his incredible privilege in the game. Give me Haaland over the dreariness of Ronaldo talking about himself in the third person.
Martin Odegaard has maybe made me check my privilege of watching him. I think he’s won a lot of non-believers over with some dogged performances over the past 4 weeks. His pressing makes Norway a nightmare and his ability to move the ball up the pitch has been a real win for his nation. Can he take this form back to Arsenal? Are we going to see a clean season of football from him? We need him back to his best. Playing without pain, focused on getting us to the promised land of winning the Champions League.
But… I will have to go back to irrationally hating them both in about 4 hours’ time. That is the game. Cute that he has cowboy boots, but that won’t stop me throwing a cup of beer at the screen in the bar I’ll be watching the game in. Me, one other fan. Going to be magnifico. What could I shout? They don’t even have slander for Norwegians.
‘Your sovereign wealth fund is overrated!’
What is not magnifico is listening to Tuchel guffaw over how resilient Declan is.
‘Oh yes, he is literally dying in there. We keep him on a drip. He’s juice cleansing with horse placenta. What a guy. Literally ruining himself for a World Cup.’
I’m over it. The cost of these sacrifices are going to be BIG next season and I am really worried we’re going to see a 5% dip because players like Saliba, Saka, and Rice are going to need to be rehabbed out of playing in pain. You just can’t replace them in our team. Maybe Bruno for Declan? But 25 games of Madueke to start the year? Mosquera for Saliba? I can’t… I just can’t.
Actually, check out these Bruno numbers.
Still, I’ll put all that sh*te to one side… because for now, I need to see the Arsenal players put in a shift so the world has to watch them get knighted. Going to be a fabulous game. COME ON ENGLAND.
Then it’s Argentina vs Switzerland. Hard to imagine the semi-finals don’t have a Messi in them, but we’ve seen crazier things this World Cup.
Ok, that’s me done, get yourself in the comments for the BIG quarter final ties, and let’s hope Berta gets off the grill and onto the phone. Need my fix of transfers!
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